Mommy, I Don’t Have To Pee. Really.



The drive from Orlando back to that’s Houston was relatively uneventful. A clear and sunny day, we drove a few hours (like 16 hours) with a few stops in between. After a great vacation, I was stopped by Florida’s finest. I guess I thought I was Dale Ernhardt Jr. the way I was moving. Not my fault really. I had Run DMC playing in the background as the family slept in.

After the Florida State Trooper and I parted ways, my sleepy wife figured it was a good time to get breakfast. A quick stop at Mickey D’s, food and potty break (I need to find another term, my kids are getting too old for”potty breaks”). Speaking of breaks, Adi wanted to take the wheel. She figured since my foot was heavy, then so were my eyelids.

A couple of hours later, my wife is looking for a place to pull over. “Okay, kids. Let’s go use the restroom.” My son, who can go anywhere, was out the car faster than you can say “Chattahoochee”. My daughter, on the other hand, said she didn’t really have to go. Adi, recognizing the value of a clean restroom on a long road trip, insisted. “You’ll thank me later, sweetie.” That’s when my son shifted gears and said he really didn’t have to go either.

Adi was dismayed. We had driven two hours. How could they not have to go? The “boy scout” in her began to insist. “If you don’t go now, you’ll need to go when we can’t stop”. Or she would say, “You don’t want to take a chance that the next rest room is filthy.” Pretty compelling argument if you ask me.

Needless to say, mom knows best because, speaking for The Boy, the lizard was drained expeditiously with no further coercion. Even though the kids know when the have to go and when they don’t, mom can still call it correct. Even when the the kids implore her not to make them pee.

Just a fatherly observation.  Never contradict a woman. They are all-knowing and all-seeing. They even know when you should be peeing.

I’m going to end this post now…my wife just told me I need t0 go pee (dang! How’d she know?) :-)

Mr. Man

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  • Amen brother. Just agree and move on whether it be about bathroom breaks or something else.
  • This made me giggle — thanks for that 🙂
  • We can ALWAYS pee a little bit. And we do know best. You are a smart, smart man to follow the advice of such a wise woman…
  • mrman
    Thanks! I have been accused of worse. My woman is wise and I am docile. Kidding about the docile part. If I were, I couldn’t be Mr. MAN.
  • WeaselMomma
    This cracks me up. We women aren’t omnipotent, we just play that role in our families. Now go wash your hands again.
  • mrman
    See…how did you know I just came out the restroom? And, yes. I did wash my hands. Twice. 🙂
  • Rljack6
    Classic!!!!! I’ve found that on road trips the wife usually groups the “kids” and hubby together and tells everybody that they need to use the bathroom. It always comes at the start of the trip before we leave, in 2 hour intervals, and usually an hour before we arrive.Recently the adult sons were home and we went on an outing. She gave the bathroom call and my two “grown” sons looked at me like “Wow” After a brief hesitation by the three of us there was a mad dash to the bathroom by all three of use it first! LOL
  • mrman
    Women just seem to know, don’t they?

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