Dangerous Masculinity

Photo credit goes to Keem Ibarra

“If you start listening to your heart and using your head to facilitate it, you’ll start getting shit done.”

-Ryan Niddel

Why do we let things hold us back? As men, we’re supposed to be decision makers. We’re supposed to be leaders. We’re supposed to be the ones to get shit done for ourselves and for the people who matter most to us. We will often allow external factors prevent us from reaching our peak potential. We let influences outside of ourselves dictate what we do and what we don’t. Rather than doing what we know is right in our heart, we allow people and circumstances make our decisions.  We ignore that nagging feeling in our gut and let the world shape the decisions that we make when, ultimately, the outcome ends up benefiting someone else while we are left with the short end of the stick.

Imagine what masculinity would look like if we listened to what our inner self is guiding us to do? That inner self could be God, Buddha, the Universe, intuition, or whatever it is you believe. That kind of masculinity would be absolutely dangerous. And it would change the way we view ourselves and the world.

Dangerous Masculinity

Instinctively, we are built to lead, to protect,  to love, to build, and to win at life. We are warriors and kings. Providers and conquerors. However, sometimes our greatness gets blinded by relationships, jobs, and a lack of self-fulfillment due to the confines of our society and what we are expected to be. It gets lost in all the noise.

Truly being your own man. Doing the right thing because it is the right thing. Imagine for a second that we could love those that we love openly and honestly.  Imagine if we had the courage to get rid of the baggage that holds us back and keeps us from reaching the heights that we were designed to reach. Society would have us believe that following your heart is being weak. Men are supposed to be rational, intellectual, decisive, and clear headed. All of these things may be true, but we let the clutter of our lives and circumstances steal that clarity like a thief in the night.

Own Your Manhood

F*** that! It’s time to reclaim it. It’s time to own it. It’s time to take it to the next level, brothers. What’s holding you back? What’s keeping you from taking back your manhood? Don’t blame it on your circumstances. Don’t blame it on another person. The only person holding you back is you. If you fail to hold yourself accountable, you are certain to fail to achieve the maximum YOU. I’m not preaching to you, brothers, for I am guilty as well. Since I have come to recognize this about myself,  I strive everyday to refocus and break the chains that are holding me back. To live a life of purpose. Men are supposed to lead from the front, not follow from the rear. Rather than do what we know is right and following that inner voice, we let our head(s) determine our actions, thus our outcome. We’re supposed to be the one to make things happen to better ourselves and those around us. We cannot continue to let external forces define us. How dangerous would our masculinity be if we follow what our subconscious is screaming at us to do?

The Heart of a Man

Dangerous Masculinity is the  concept of following the heart of a man. Imagine if you could be totally free from the limitations that are placed on us everyday. We must teach our sons and the young men in our lives that the only real masculinity is dangerous, but how are we to do so if we don’t know how to live dangerously ourselves?

There are some action steps that we must take:

  1. Look at yourself in the mirror and be honest with yourself. First and foremost. Recognize where you are failing yourself and those that you’re responsible for. Own it. Acknowledge it and then work to correct it. We may not be able to change the mistakes of our past, but we damned sure can change our future.
  2. Make amends to those whom you have hurt and damaged. Dangerous Masculinity includes being humble enough to tell someone that you were wrong. To tell them that you are sorry and to tell them that you will actively work not to repeat the mistakes of your past.
  3. Forgive those who have wronged you. Forgiveness is not for the other person. It’s only for you. Forgiveness is such a release because it allows you to let go of the pain and the damage that was inflicted upon you.
  4. Listen to your heart. Use your head as the compass to execute what the heart is telling you. Internally we know right from wrong  and we know good from bad. Life is not always black or white, but we do know there’s just some shit we shouldn’t be doing. So listen to your heart and then use your head to execute the game plan. Your spirit will lead you to greatness if only you listen and the beautiful mind that the Creator has given you will allow you to respond in order for that greatness to come into fruition.
  5. Be purposeful. Work to identify your purpose and come to understand what it is you were meant to do and why.  Your purpose not only serves you, but your purpose is designed to serve others as well.

Dangerous Masculinity revolves around the heart. With the heart comes passion. Let that be the thing that drives you. A desire to be a better you. To be better for those you love. Take the time to discover yourself so that you can be the fullest, richest man that you can possibly be.

This is the first article in the series on Dangerous Masculinity.

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