This weekend, we celebrate Father’s Day, but I am using my prerogative to narrow the scope and extend the celebration. I am proposing that all of the real dads celebrate the following:
“Happy Not Your Baby Daddy” Week.
You see, too many people celebrate Father’s Day. I’ve heard too many baby daddies being honored for only meeting the minimum requirement. Impregnating a female. It concerns me greatly that there are so many single parents raising children because the dad chooses not to man up and handle his responsibility. The word father is thrown around too loosely at times
Fatherhood is so much more than making a baby. That’s just the beginning. The first step. Being a dad is a commitment to something other than yourself. If you aren’t willing to accept the risks of unmarried and unprotected sex, then don’t show up to the party.
This holiday would fall on the week after Father’s Day. Real Dads would take the week off and spend it hanging out with their kids. Baby Daddies would have to go to work.
There would be football, baseball, soccer, and Ultimate Fighting Championship 24/7 and kegs of your favorite beverage on tap in your living room. The hot wings would always be hot and the brew would always be cold.
Tee times would be free for the whole week and Real Dads could play wherever they choose. Pebble Beach, Augusta, or one of my favorites in Texas, La Cantera. The weather would be in the high 60s-low 70s and no humidity. Baby Daddies would have to caddy for us.
Every day of the week, there would be a different muscle car for you to drive. My choice would be this one. Then this one. And this one. Baby Daddies would have to clean them for me.
You see, I don’t have much respect for men who abandon their children and try to claim the same title that I wear with honor: Father. My patience is thin for those who equate manhood with the number of children they have. These chumps are not allowed in my holiday. If you fit this description, I make no apologies if you are not handling up on your responsibilities.
However, if you are a Baby Daddy that would like to step up and be a part of the celebration, here are a few things that you must do first. Maybe you can catch us next year:
- Be Loving to Your Children. You cannot view your kids as an accident or as an inconvenient expense. Children are wonderful gifts that change your life for the better. Children respond to emotions, both positive and negative. They feed off of your affection and starve when there is an absence of it. I can’t imagine my life before my children can along.
- Be the Model to Your Children. Children learn by watching you. The way you treat their mother is the example they see for all future relationships. When I was married, I would make it a point to try to show a good example of a healthy relationship to our kids. I’m not perfect and I make mistakes. I even tell my kids that I made a mistake if I am truly wrong about something. If you are abusive in your relationship, I believe there is a special kind of hell awaiting you (not to mention you’ll probably arrive there with Mr. Man’s shoe strategically placed in your posterior).
- Be Responsible. Even if you are not with the mother of your children, you must still take responsibility for whom you have produced. And it is more than financial. See Point #4.
- Be There. Really Be There. There is proven evidence that shows an improved quality of life for a family when there is a dad in the picture. The most important thing that you can give to children is your time. Remember where your priorities are. Your children should be at the top of the list.
I love the fact that I am the man in my children’s lives. The unconditional love they have for me strengthens me and makes me give more back to them.
So if you are a real dad, enjoy yourselves! Its a celebration! (Dave Chappelle’s voice as Rick James).