The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.
Featured Image Credit: @PIXABAY
It is over a week into 2019. You have probably said to yourself in some way or manner, “Something has got to change”. Change is one of the only certainties in life. Breathing is certain until it isn’t. Love is uncertain, but loss is guaranteed. It has been said that the only constant in life is change. Change is inevitable, or so I’ve been told. Add to the list any cliché that you can think of that describes the inevitability of change and I will take pause to question the accuracy of those statements. Here’s why.
Every year, many of us resolve to change some aspect of ourselves. Maybe you’re not happy with the spare tire that’s developed around your mid-section over the last year. It’s possible your relationship is one of convenience and comfort than of passion and mutual pleasure. Perhaps your career is stagnant and uninteresting. You decide to change these things. Then the excitement of the new year…of new beginnings…leaves as quickly as it comes. The resolutions that we made are forgotten and the poor habits of the previous year are carried into the new. The promises we made to ourselves are broken like twigs in the winter snow. Are we so weak that the promises made to ourselves are so easily broken? What does that say for commitments that we make to the people we interract with? It forces us to admit to ourselves that our word isn’t our bond, it’s actually worthless. If we can’t honor the commitments that we make to ourselves, then others can’t trust us to keep the commitments we make to them.
Brothers, let’s not make these empty resolutions anymore. We have to start seeking evolution. We have to have a “come-to-Jesus” meeting with the inner man in each of us and actively work to change the aspects of our lives that need changing. We need to do more than make surface level promises that we never serious enough to keep in the first place. Here are some practical steps that we can all take to grow into the men that we are designed to be.
Many of us are convicted by parts of ourselves that we know are harmful to us and to those around us. Some may struggle with substances that numb your mind, body, and your spirit. For others, it may be an addiction to pornography that is keeping you from building healthy relationships. Maybe you feel like you can’t control the foods you eat, thus keeping you from being at your best. Resentment and the inability to forgive does more damage to us than it does to person who wronged you. Help is often available, but pride, fear, and other limiting beliefs prevent us from seeking it out. It is important to recognize and acknowledge the issues we struggle with. You may despise who you see in the mirror. Tears will fall if you are being honest with yourself, but this is where it starts. The pitfalls that prevent you from becoming the man you were designed to be must be faced and dealt with. This process takes time, but it works. I know because I have had to face my own demons. The good news is that this is the most difficult phase of your evolution. It gets easier as you go through it. This is where you rediscover your worth.
After a period of self-reflection, it is necessary to remove the toxic elements from your life that are holding you back. Full transparency. I am experiencing this phase in some aspects of my life even as I write this. You may enjoy stopping at your local cigar bar after work for a stogie and drinks, but if it is done in excess, you are harming yourself. Spending hours on social media has the potential to distract you from spending quality time with your partner as your relationship is crumbling right beneath your feet. You possibly have people in your life that you can’t seem to let go of, but they are preventing you from reaching your full potential. Your best interest is typically not in other people’s best interest. This is the time to eject the poison from your presence. Not everyone who cares about you is good for you. Not every experience elevates you. Consider this phase similar to the film, The Purge. It doesn’t have to happen overnight, but it has to happen quickly. Your well-being has to be most important.
At this point, you have reflected inward and ejected outward. Now it is time to expect it forward. This is where you take steps to expand yourself beyond where you ever thought you could before. You begin to feed your spirit and feast in on this singular life that you have. Your body becomes your temple and your dreams become your playground. Actively seek out people and resources that elevate and expand you. Fuel yourself by learning how to give. Love freely, but not foolishly. Start the business you always wanted. Get the body that you always knew you could have. Find that relationship that is mutually beneficial and built to last. This is the phase of the journey that is the most exciting and rewarding. This is where you begin to EXPAND.
This process is more than an empty resolution that is long forgotten by Valentine’s Day. This is potentially your 2019 journey. Get ready for your evolution. It’s waiting for you. Go get it.